At Synergistics Incorporated, the laws of gravity have been suspended. Competence is a fireable offense, revenue is just a “negative growth opportunity,” and the smartest thing you can do is learn to speak entirely in meaningless buzzwords.

Meet Arthur Pendleton, a Senior Data Analyst trapped in a glass-walled panopticon of idiocy. While Arthur desperately tries to stop the company’s flagship smart toasters from connecting to pacemakers, his executives are busy executing layoffs via a retirement-home bingo cage, hiding $14 million deficits by changing the font to Forest Canopy Green, and promoting the guy who waters the office ficus to Vice President of Strategic Ecosystems.

Corporate Intellects is a satirical journey through corporate absurdity, where common sense collides with C-suite strategy and somehow common sense always loses.

If you have ever survived a three-hour meeting that could have been an email, endured corporate jargon, watched a disastrous “transformation initiative,” or wondered how some people got promoted, this book may feel uncomfortably familiar.

Throw away your Harvard Business Review. The only paradigm shift you need is right here.