Between sinking and striking back, there is a third response.

Two people receive the same two-line email from the same manager. One sighs, makes a note, and sleeps well. The other lies awake until 3 a.m., snaps at his brother, and walks into the meeting exhausted and defensive.
Same words. Different wound.

Steady When It Hurts is a practical guide to staying yourself when rejection, setbacks and difficult people come your way. At its heart is a simple idea, the Sensitivity Meter. It doesn’t measure how deeply you feel. It measures how far an event takes over your thinking and your actions. When the needle climbs too high, most of us sink or strike. This book shows you a third option: acknowledge what hurts, regain enough steadiness, and choose your next step.
Inside, you will learn how to:
• Take the Meter Quiz and read your own needle through three readings: Sting, Grip and Spill
• Use the 60-second Third Response the next time life hits
• Understand why the same words land so differently depending on who says them, and why we sink before power and strike below it
• Stop hurt travelling from work to home, and repair harm when it has already landed
• Handle rejection, setbacks, humiliation, everyday irritation, grief and uncertainty without losing yourself
• Build the daily foundations that keep your needle steady, and use your own power well

This is not a book about feeling less. It is about feeling what you feel, and still choosing what you do next. Drawing on psychological research, wisdom traditions from around the world and the author’s own hard-won experience, every chapter ends with something to try, and a toolkit at the back gathers the tools in one place.

If you have ever lain awake replaying a conversation, swallowed something you should have said, or said something you wish you could take back, this book is for you.
Take the quiz. Keep your score. Then see how far your needle moves.