June 29, 1989

The particular thought of what is useful and what is useless, the distinction between two things defines an attribute, and thoughts attached to the things. What is the fear that inside of choosing one thing or to decide on a particular thing, fear that almost consists of everything?

Spontaneous: since 1989 is a diary of an unknown man who wrote his journey. His journey is not through the places and people but within his mind where his thoughts became his enemy, friend and sometimes great master. He feared on every turn and questioned, not to any teacher or the saint but only to himself through his writing. He was lucid after outpouring his thirst to know and sometimes so confused between his world and world outside. He started with the most fundamental question and ended up in the core of his beliefs, thoughts, self-centeredness, lust, fears and pains. He was in the midst. He dreamed to win Oscars and simultaneously desired to be enlightened. He was circled within his mind, trapped in what is useful and what is useless. In the end, he started to recognize himself more. He came to know that how his thoughts were shaping his world. He wrote the same things, repeated the same questions to himself to go as deep as possible.

He writes:

Each word belongs to its capacity that I have created for it.

February 08, 1989